


This Is Not Where It Ends

by savannawrites



Category: Chronicles of Narnia - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, movie-verse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-08
Updated: 2015-09-09
Packaged: 2018-04-08 08:14:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4297311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/savannawrites/pseuds/savannawrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And, when Aslan asked who would like to return to the Other world, instead of saying 'stay', Caspian whispered, 'I’ll miss you.'<br/>And instead of saying 'I will', Peter smiled sadly as his heart sank into his feet, and walked away.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. No-One Ever Said It Would Be So Hard

Peter walked through the forest, eyes focused on the ground as evening fell over Narnia. Even when the creatures disappeared into their homes, and the sun set below the trees as it would back in England, there was something magical about the place, something so different from home, and a large part of Peter wished he could stay. Wished that he didn't have to go back to the endless days of trains and uniforms, wished that he and his siblings could stay in the castle with Caspian and live out the rest of their lives there. He knew it was hopeless to wish, however. It would not change the reality that this would be the last night he spent in this world.

As he sat himself down on a rock, he looked around him, at the trees, the orange light of the sunset setting over the landscape. It was nearing the time he should return to the castle, he was well aware, but he could not bring himself to go back. For going back would mean he would have no choice but to sleep, and he simply refused to miss a second of the last night he spent in Narnia. He closed his eyes, and took a deep breath in, feeling the cool air wrap around him, the cold, hard rock below him, and listening to the breeze shake the leaves of the surrounding trees ever so slightly. He kept his eyes closed and simply felt his surroundings, felt them for a time when, perhaps, he may question the existence of this place. Memorized the smell, the temperature and the feeling, to remember Narnia by years later.

He had become so engrossed in this, however, that he failed to notice the snapping of twigs on the ground as somebody approached him. 

"Peter?" He heard a voice from behind, and felt a soft hand placed gently on his shoulder.

Looking up, he found, that to his surprise, it was the Prince Caspian. Well, King Caspian, now. The thought of Caspian as King still felt somewhat foreign to him. Perhaps it was his having spent many years as High King of Narnia, but perhaps it was that, in his time of knowing Caspian, he had known him to be the Prince. 

"Caspian." He smiled softly, and stood up so that he was at eye level with the other man.

"What brings you here at this hour?" Caspian asked, and Peter paused for a moment, debating whether or not to spill all of his troubles to the man, before replying,

"I just wish it didn't have to end. My time in Narnia, I mean." There was that word again, wishing. Peter seemed to be doing an awful lot of that recently.

Caspian furrowed his brow, and seemed to be considering something for a moment.

"Well, who says it must? Why can you not stay?"

Peter sighed, and sat himself back down on his rock.

"That's the thing. It doesn't have to. I'm certain, if I wished to stay, Aslan would allow it. However, there is simply no more need of Susan or I in this world anymore. Edmund and Lucy, perhaps. But... My family needs me and Susan in our world. For me to stay would simply be selfish."

Caspian chuckled softly, and looked down at Peter, 

"We must all be a little selfish sometimes, Peter. Or else, we would never be happy."

Peter knew he was right, he did. But knowing and understanding is one thing, and bringing himself to actually be selfish would be an entirely different one. 

Caspian sat himself down on the rock next to Peter, and a moment of silence passed, both of them content to say nothing for the time being.

"I know you won't, though. You're too good a man for that, Peter. No matter whether it would make you happy or not."

Peter ducked his head and smiled, he did so wish he could manage to be selfish, to stay in Narnia and grow old there. But Caspian was right, he wouldn't.

"I suppose, then, that this is the last we will see of each other." Caspian said, making no effort to hide the disappointment in his vocie. Peter's chest ached at the thought of never seeing Caspian again, although he wasn't sure why. Actually, he was, however, his feelings wouldn't matter when he left, and he preferred not to dwell too long on them, as he didn't want to make leaving more difficult than it was already going to be.

"I suppose it is." Peter replies, voice full of sorrow and regret.

I wish it wasn't. You're what I'll miss the most. He thought, but for all his bravery, all of the courage he was known for throughout all of Narnia, he couldn't quite bring himself to say it.

It appeared that no more needed to be said, as Caspian was leaning in, closer and closer with every breath, until there was but a centimeter between their lips.

"Forgive me, for, as you won't, I must be... Just a little selfish." Caspian whispered, and Peter could almost feel his lips moving around the words, before he closed the ever so small space between them, pressing his lips to Peter's softly.

Finally, Peter understood what it was that people spoke about in songs and poetry, the feeling written about in romance novels. He began to move his lips gently against Caspian's, the other man responding instantly. It would be so easy, for Peter to let himself fall in love right then, to give Caspian his heart. If he wasn't careful, it would happen without his choosing.

Caspian pulled away after a short moment, and Peter had no clue when he'd moved his hand to cup the Caspian's face, but he made no move to put it down, instead choosing to stroke the other man's jawbone slowly.

"I wish-" Peter began, but was cut off.

"I know."

Neither boy said anything more that night, choosing instead to sit on that rock and kiss and watch the sun fall and the moon rise until it was time to leave once and for all.

And, when Aslan asked who would like to return to the Other world, instead of saying 'stay', Caspian whispered, 'I'll miss you'.

And instead of saying 'I will', Peter smiled sadly as his heart sank into his feet, and walked away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a rather random burst of inspiration at three in the morning, and this is the result. Needless to say, I got little to no sleep.  
> This chapter's title is taken from Coldplay's 'The Scientist'.


	2. Those Empty Eyes, I Beg to Stay

A rush of wind, and the sound of a train roaring past grew louder, people appearing and walking by in a blur of suitcases and various school uniforms. The Pevensies didn't need to look to know that Narnia was nowhere to be found, that they had, yet again, left Narnia. Peter and Susan, for the very last time. That, Peter thought, was probably the most painful thought he would ever allow to pass through his mind. He'd been through many a battle in Narnia, swords and shields, arrows and magic. But still, knowing that he'd been banished from his true home for the rest of his natural born life? That hurt more than any of the injuries from any of those battles.

The only time he'd hurt like this was when he'd first found out that Edmund had betrayed them to the White Witch. At least that had been temporary. 

His train of thought was derailed when he heard Susan calling his name, and realised that his siblings had already gotten on the train that had pulled up, and quickly followed them on, barely listening as Edmund said something about his torch. Lucy reached out and took his hand, squeezing it gently, as though she knew exactly what he'd been thinking.

He managed to smile down at her, and with that, the train pulled away from the station.

~~~~~~~

The car pulled up to take Lucy and Edmund to their cousin's house in Cambridge, where they would be staying for the next few months, until the war ended and their father had returned with Peter and Susan from America. 

Peter and Susan hugged their younger siblings goodbye, as did their mother, and the two turned to leave. 

"One thing!" Peter called out, and Lucy and Edmund stopped, turning around to look at him quizzically. 

"Tell him Susan and I say hello. If you get the chance." He told them, smiling, and nobody (aside from their mother) needed to ask to know that he wasn't talking about Eustace.

~~~~~~~

He and Susan had written many a letter in the time that they had been in America, and being somewhere new, with new people and new places, different surroundings and a different feel in the air made him begin to feel a tad better about coming back from Narnia. In fact, while he missed Caspian and Reepicheep and all the other Narnians terribly, (Caspian in particular, however) he was beginning to genuinely enjoy being back home, even if he would willingly give it all up to go back.

He knew Susan missed Narnia too, of course. She was very well versed in hising how she felt, however, and whenever Peter brought it up in the hopes that she may want to talk about it (he loved Edmund and Lucy dearly, however, they were in another country, limiting their methods of conversation, and they were allowed to go back to Narnia another time, they simply didn't understand how he and Susan were feeling.) she would shrug and say something along the lines of, "We grew up, it was time we came back to our reality." or "Peter, it simply won't do us any good, dwelling on the past like this. Especially when we know that portion of our lives is over."

In theory, he knew she was right, and that he should jsut move on. He was about ready to, too, until he went with his father to pick up Edmund and Lucy from the Scrubb's.

"Peter, Susan, your Aunt Alberta and I may be a moment," Peter rolled his eyes, his father did know how to talk when he wanted to, as adults often do, and knew that they'd be more than 'a moment'. "How's about the two of you go upstairs and have a chat with Edmund and Lucy, I'm sure they'd love to talk to you."

Susan nodded her head towards the staricase, gesturing to Peter for him to follow her upstairs, and when they reached the top, Lucy rushed up to them and enveloped her brother in a hug, before moving on to Susan as Edmund did the same. In the distance, he could hear footsteps coming closer, and when Edmund pulled away, he saw Eustace casually standing at the doorway just in front of them. Which was odd, he thought. Eustace rarely did anything 'casually.' In all the time Peter had known him, he'd been rather uptight and rather obnoxious, to tell the truth. It was an understatement to say that Eustace disliked the Pevensie siblings, and the feelings were fully reciprocated by all four of them. So, as you can imagine, when Eustace broke out into a full grin and went to shake Peter's hand, both Peter and Susan were taken by surprise.

Peter furrowed his brow, but grasped Eustace's hand nonetheless. 

"Come on in," Eustace told them, nodding toward the guest room Lucy had been staying in. "We've a lot to tell you." There was no denying that Eusace sounded excited, and as Edmund and Lucy followed him into the room, Susan looked across at Peter.  
"D'you think..." She hadn't needed to finish the sentence for peter to realise that she thought they had been back to Narnia, and had taken Eustace with them. To be honest, the thought had crossed his mind, and it would make sense. He shrugged, and turned to follow his siblings and cousin into the guest room, Susan trailing close behind. 

Edmund, Lucy and Eustace sat down on the floor, gesturing for Susan and Peter to join them. Eustace opened his mouth to speak, but before he could get a word in, Lucy spoke,

"We went back to Narnia!" 

Edmund nodded, and pointed at a painting of a rather majestic ship sailing the bluest waters, the likes of which Peter had only ever seen in Narnia. 

"That painting... The water spilled out of it and filled the entire room! When we swam upwards, there was no ceiling, and then when we finally go out, we were in Narnia."

Eustace nodded his agreement.

"Honestly, before we arrived in Narnia... And, admittedly, for quite a long time after, I thought they'd all gone barking mad."

Edmund smirked, 

"Took you getting turned into a dragon to stop being such a sot."

Everybody chuckled, and Eustace sighed.

"I know. I do wish it hadn't. Looking back on it now, I must have been a right pain in the arse. I was a better dragon than I was a boy."

Lucy smiled,

"Ah, we all forgive you. Even Caspian forgave you. Although, to be honest I do think he was more amust by your constant disbelief than he was frustrated." 

Caspian. Peter had known that he would be there, and that the three were bound to bring him up eventually, but he hadn't anticipated the ache in his chest at the thought of the boy - man, now, most likely, that he'd left behind.

"We told him you guys said hey. He's still got your sword, Pete, incase you were wondering." 

He had been wondering. He shook it off, knowing it wouldn't do him any good to go back into his state of moping over Caspian, as it would be yet another reminder that he was in England and not in Narnia, which would lead him into a constant state off moping over Narnia as weel as Caspian. There was only so much moping he could do before he woke up one morning and admitted to himself that he was absolutely pathetic, after all.

"So, tell us all about your time there." Peter said, genuinely interested, and happy (if a little jealous) for his siblings, going back to Narnia and having another adventure there.

"Yes, and don't leave out a single thing." Susan added, adjusting the way she was sitting to make herself more comfortable.

And so, Edmund, Lucy and Eustace began to tell the story of their time in Narnia, and Peter wasn't at all surprised when Lucy and Edmund told him that it was to be their last time there, but did feel rather sorry for them, knowing first hand how they would be feeling about it. 

He was, however, surprised (but glad for him) when Eustace told them he would possibly return to Narnia one day. 

As the trio neared the end of the tale of their experience in Narnia, they heard the Pevensie's father calling them downstairs, as it was time for them to leave. 

Eustace smiled sadly, and hugged each of them before they left, and, although Peter tried desparately, he couldn't quite tear himself from the thought that Caspian had not only kept his sword, but not found himself a Queen in the time that had passed. He tried not to think that this was simply because he'd promised Peter he would look after it, but he drew a blank as to reasons Caspian wouldn't have found a Queen.

Yes, he was slightly biased on the topic, but everybody was well aware that Caspian was an attractive man. A kind, attractive man at that. One who ruled over all of Narnia. Certainly many women, and possibly many men would be falling over themselves in an attempt to be close to him.

"Peter?" Peter vaguely registeres Edmunds voice, and snapped out of his trance, turning his head to face his brother, when he noticed that his siblings had exited the car and were entering the house. He'd been so caught up in his head (that seemed to be happening an awful lot) that he hadn't even noticed the car approaching home.

He unbuckled his seatbelt and opened the car door.  
" Are you feeling alright? Ever since you got back from Narnia, you've been acting as though you left your thoughts back there." Edmund chuckled lightly, clearly attempting to cover his concern with a feeble attempt at a joke, and Peter sighed.

'I'm alright, Ed, really."

Edmund looked at him, making no effort to mask his suspicion.

"If you say so." He replied, knowing that if Peter didn't want to talk aout whatever was bothering it would be pointless to try and make him.

That night, Peter dreamt of dark hair, warm brown eyes, and that moment in the woods on his last night in Narnia.

And if he'd known that that same night, Caspian had dreamt of him too, well, maybe he wouldn't have felt so awful when he woke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shit, I didn't mean for this story to be anything more than a series of one shots, but what do you know, it's now going to be a full length fic! (I have quite a few more chapters planned, so this may well be a rather long fic.)  
> I know there isn't an awful lot of Peter/Caspian in this chapter, but I did have to set the scene.
> 
> This chapter's title is from Sam Tsui's 'Shadow'.


	3. Two Can Keep a Secret

Ever since the Peter and Susan had returned from America, and Edmund and Lucy from Cambridge (and Narnia), and had headed back to school, Peter had taken to moping once again. When he wasn’t in classes, he locked himself in the dorm room he shared with a boy in his class (who, usually, wasn't there, and when he was he seemed to leave Peter well enough alone), and had resumed getting himself into fights with other students over the smallest of disagreements.

The holidays drew nearer and nearer, however Peter’s melancholy mood remained unchanged. As the time passed, he became less and less careful about hiding his upset from his brother, who was quickly becoming fed up with Peter’s ‘doesn’t-care-but-somehow-cares-too-much’ attitude. 

By the time the Christmas holidays rolled around, many of the boys attending their school had gone home to stay with their families. Peter and Edmund, however, had remained behind. (As had their sisters at their school.) 

Edmund had assumed that the Christmas spirit might just be enough to put something of a smile on Peter’s face, but, when it came closer and closer and Peter was still equally as disagreeable and upset, Edmund had finally reached his limit. Yes, he was aware that Peter couldn’t go back to Narnia, but neither could he, or Lucy, or Susan. So either something else was going on, (and honestly, he didn’t like to think that was the case, as by this point he liked to imagine that he and Peter were close enough that he would feel free to tell him what’s wrong.) or Peter was just being a huge drama Queen. 

Frankly, either way, Edmund was going to talk to Peter, and he would make his older brother talk.

One (extremely cold) evening, Edmund knocked on the door of Peter’s dorm room, (the boy he shared with, Jack, had gone home for the holidays) and when he heard some form of noise from the other side of the door (he assumed it meant he could enter), he pushed the door open and walked in, to find Peter sitting on his bed, an old looking book open in his lap, the kind you find in your grandfather's library but never read because... Well, because it's big. And old.

“What d’you want, Ed?” Peter already sounded as though he was completely over the conversation, even though it hadn’t properly begun.

“That’s just it, Pete. That right there. Locking yourself away, refusing to talk, and when you do, you never really seem to care. You don’t even care when you get in trouble with the Headmaster because of your fighting. Which, by the way, you’ve been doing too much of.” Edmund sat himself down on Jack’s bed, so that he was facing Peter. He interlaced his own fingers, and rested his hands on his lap.

Peter scoffed, closing the book and throwing it on the floor. “I’m fine.”

Edmund raised his eyebrows incredulously, 

“Peter, ever since we returned from Narnia, you’ve been... Well...” Edmund gestured frantically, “Ever so upset. Actually, you were getting better for a while, but then it started up again when Lucy, Eustace and I told you about our adventures on the Dawn Treader.”

Peter rolled his eyes.

“Is there a point to this conversation? Because I do have a book to read.”

Edmund stood up, walking over to where Peter had thrown the book he was reading and snatched it up off of the floor.

“Yes, I’m sure you are just desperate to finish reading your..” He flipped through the pages, “Eight hundred page book on the history of criminal law in America..." Edmund's voice was dripping with sarcasm. "Peter, law isn’t even...” Edmund trailed off, shaking his head.

“If this is about not being allowed to return to Narnia...”

Peter sighed, 

“It’s not.... Look, you wouldn’t understand.”

The younger boy sighed, “Then for God’s sake, explain! Maybe I can try!”

After a minute of silence, Edmund spoke up again, this time, though, his voice was gentle, and almost sympathetic.

“I’m just worried about you. You’re being a right pain in the behind, but you are my brother. I really don’t like seeing you this way.”

“Ed, I appreciate it, but just forget about it, alright? You’re right, I have been a pain. I will try not to spend so much time feeling sorry for myself.”

Edmund was rather tempted to let the matter go, but he somehow felt as though Peter keeping all of his feelings inside would be even less useful than the way he was working through it now. If, that is, what he was doing could be called working through it.

“DAMMIT, PETER. I’M NOT LEAVING UNTIL YOU TELL ME WHAT IS GOING ON, AND THEN WE CAN SIT AND TALK THROUGH THIS LIKE ADULTS.”

He hadn't meant to shout, but he was becoming tired of the stupid song and dance he and Peter were doing, and sometimes, the only way to get through to someone who doesn't want to listen is to give them no other choice.

Finally, Peter gave in and raised his voice to match his brothers. 

“FINE? YOU WANT THE TRUTH?” Peter sighed, and lowered his voice. “I didn’t want to leave Caspian behind in Narnia.”

Edmund sat back down on Jack’s bed, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion. What on Earth was Peter on about? They all cared for Caspian, he had indeed become a dear friend to all of them in the times they had spent in Narnia. Even more so to Edmund and Lucy, as they’d spent more time with him rather recently. 

In fact, Edmund was certain that he and Peter had only come to like each other after the almost release of the White Witch. 

At any rate, he had no real idea why Peter would think that he wouldn’t understand, he too, had been forced to say goodbye to his friend.

“Peter, what? I’m sorry, but I don’t quite understand what you mean by that. We all had to say goodbye to him. Susan and Lucy would’ve understood. You even could have spoken to Eustace, if you really didn’t want to speak to me, for Aslan’s sake.” 

Peter’s humourless laughter rang out throughout the room.

“No, Ed. I didn’t want to leave Caspian behind.” This time, he made a point of emphasizing Caspian's name. He was speaking so softly it could almost have passed as a whisper, lightly biting his lip and looking at the ground, so that he wouldn’t have to see the look of disgust he assumed would be gracing his brother’s face. 

And then it all clicked. Edmund had no idea how he hadn’t seen it before, how everyone hadn’t seen it. Every flinch at the mention of Caspian’s name, the way he’d challenged everything Caspian said in Narnia, as though he were trying to prove himself, trying to impress the Prince. 

The way Caspian had looked at him as he left was more than enough to tell Edmund that the feelings weren’t a one way street. 

Edmund found himself unable to say anything other than a soft, "Oh.” and stood up, making his way over to the bed Peter sat on, placing himself down next to him.

“I know, it’s wrong to feel this way, Edmund, so spare me the lecture.” He mumbled, still refusing to look up at his brother.

“Peter... Saying it’s wrong is overreacting a little. You have feelings for Caspian. I mean, okay, it is a little inconvenient that you are in two separate worlds, but -”

“No, Ed, it’s that Caspian’s a boy. Shouldn't you hate me?”

At this, Edmund’s eyes widened, and, in all honesty he felt a little insulted that his older brother should think that something as trivial as which gender he was attracted to played any sort of role in their brotherly relationship.

“No. Pete, you can’t help it. You will always be my brother, and please do not think for a moment that something like this could ever seek to change that.”

Neither of them spoke, choosing instead to sit in a half comfortable silence for about three minutes, although, to both of them it felt as though it were hours. Edmund, because he was waiting or Peter to make some sort of reply, and Peter, well, he wasn’t sure as to what he wished to say, so he felt it better so stay silent. 

"I am sorry, though. About you and him. For what it's worth, I reckon the two of you would've been good for each other."

Peter smiled, and looked up at Edmund.  
"We were." He chuckled softly, but his smile disappeared, and he continued speaking.  
"I suppose what hurts the most is I never really found out what he and I could have been. What we should have been. And now I'll never get the chance to."

Edmund felt for Peter, he really did. He couldn't imagine how hard this all must be on Peter. Losing both the land he grew up in and ruled for a rather long period of time and the boy he loved all in one fell swoop? Edmund could safely say he was glad he wasn't in Peter's shoes.

Unfortunately for both Edmund and Peter, while Edmund desperately wanted to help his older brother, Peter was too stubborn to accept any real help, and, anyway, Edmund had no clue whatsoever as to how to help Peter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not awfully happy with how this chapter turned out, but what's done is done.
> 
> Anyway, I'm dreadfully sorry this is moving so slowly, I just had to have Edmund and Peter have a little chat. There’s just a few more things that need to happen to set up Caspian’s arrival in the story. You have to build a bridge before you can cross it, after all.
> 
> I can safely say that Caspian will be in the story around Chapter 5, and actively involved in Chapter 6.
> 
> Chapter title from The Pierce's 'Secret'.


	4. Pieces of Broken Memories

"Alright, that's it. We haven't seen Peter in days, and the last time we did see him he was moping around like it was nobody's business. It's time we spoke to him." 

Susan stated, and Lucy nodded her agreement. 

Susan and Lucy had called Edmund to their school (since St. Finbars was just across the road from where Peter and Edmund were, it wasn't much of a hassle) to discuss Peter's wellbeing. 

Of course, they had no idea of what Edmund knew about the nature of Peter's relationship with Caspian, and how it was affecting their older brother - and, Edmund figured, (rightfully so) it wasn't his place to tell them. Peter would tell them when (if ever) he should find himself ready to.

"I don't think that's necessary. Honestly, he seems to be getting better." Edmund was lying through his teeth, and frankly, he didn't think he was convincing anyone, but he had to try. "He just has an awful lot on his plate, what with schoolwork and all. Sure, he's a bit upset about Narnia, but it's nothing. He's okay." Susan and Lucy clearly didn't look as though they were convinced. 

"He's just adjusting to being in England again. You know how hard it was for him. Really." Edmund added, praying it would be enough for the girls.

It seemed to be, as they nodded (somewhat hesitantly), as Edmund spoke up again.

"I really should be going, we may be on holiday, but curfew is still in a few minutes, and I really shouldn't be late." He turned towards the gate to begin the short walk back to school. 

"Do keep an eye on him, won't you?" Lucy called out, and Edmund turned back to smile at his youngest sister.

"Of course." 

\----

Peter looked out his window at the setting sun, and couldn't help himself from wondering if it was the same one Caspian was looking at. Of course, he did realise that the time difference between the two worlds would make this a heavy improbability, but the thought that both he and Caspian could be looking at the one same setting sun, no matter how far apart, did offer him some comfort. 

He also realised that he was acting a little (or a lot) like a lovesick schoolboy, but he couldn't help it, even if he did rather dislike it.

As he looked out at the horizon, he allowed his mind to drift further away, to a place he had only ever heard of. Aslan's Country. He wondered, if, perhaps, when he passed on , that was where he would end up. If so, would his siblings? Would Caspian? He wondered if it were anything like Narnia, and he came to the conclusion that it must be, it is Aslan's country, and after all, Narnia, too belongs to Aslan.

He was ripped from his thoughts when he heard his door creak open, and when Edmund walked in, he was hardly surprised. Ever since he'd told Edmund the truth about himself and Caspian, (he still wasn't sure if he regretted coming clean or not) his brother had been dropping in to his dorm every so often, in an attempt to check up on him.

"Pete, look, Susan and Lu are worried about you. I didn't say anything, don't worry, btu they're really getting nervous for you. Just... Drop by and see them sometime, won't you?"

Peter completely ignored what his brother had said, still somewhat wrapped up in thoughts of Aslan's Country.

"What do you imagine Aslan's country to be like? Do you think we will end up there after we die?" He asked, and Edmund frowned.

'That's... A strange question. But I'd like to think we would end up there, yes."

Peter 'hmm'ed.

"D'you think Caspian would be there?" He asked, not particularly addressing his brother, this time, so much as thinking out loud.

This comment infuriated Edmund moreso than he could possibly ever say.

"Dammit, Peter! I get it, you miss him. I can't hold that against you, I don't know how it feels, but I can only imagine how it must hurt you, but you can't honestly be telling me that you would consider throwing your life away on the off chance that you may get to see him in a place you may or may not go in the afterlife!"

Peter stiffened, was that really what Edmund thought he was leaning towards?

"Ed, no! That's not... What I was saying. I just... It's not just losing Caspian that's making me feel this awful, you do realise that? Of course, that does play a rather large role, but... Here, in England, I'm treated as though I'm a child. I grew up in Narnia. Literally, I reached adulthood and ruled over an entire kingdom, only to be thrown back into the body of a teenage boy once Aslan had no more need of me. And that's another thing. We were always told to trust Aslan blindly, to expect that he knows what he's doing, and yet, he calls us home, to Narnia, to fight battles, only to throw us back to England when we aren't needed anymore. Does any of that seem fair to you?"

Edmund shook his head,

"Of course not, Peter, but there is nothing that can be done."

"I know. Doesn't mean I have to like it." Peter muttered, and Edmund smiled sympathetically.

But, perhaps it would have brightened the mood of both boys, if they had known that at that moment, somewhere, just outside a grocery store in Cambridge, Eustace Scrubb felt the winds change, the feeling of magic wrap around him and the setting sun fade away into a forest of tall, green trees. 

And when he returned, though not for many days, so too, would Caspian.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not long now, before both boys are in the same world!  
> (Next chapter, we temporarily switch to Caspian's P.O.V)  
> Unfortunately, I can't actually remember my fanfiction.net password, so this fic'll just have to be posted here.
> 
> -SHAMELESS SELF PROMO-  
> I started a Tumblr (savannawrites.tumblr.com) so if you want to shoot me a oneshot request for any of the pairings I write about (you can find a list in my AO3 bio) OR if you just wanna come say hey and chat or vent about that asshole who ruined your day then that's cool too!


	5. Make This Place Your Home

It had been three years. Three years since Caspian had last seen Peter, and three years since the night he'd timidly pressed his lips to the other boy's in the forest.  
Three years. That should have been time enough. So why did his heart still skip a beat when the thought of Peter's last night in Narnia cross his mind? Why, whenever somebody was presented to him as a possible bride, (or, occasionally, groom) did he feel as though he was betraying Peter by so much as considering it?

It hadn't been as though the two were in love, that was what Caspian would tell himself. There hadn't been time for that, not among the fighting and the battles and everything else., is what he'd say whenever the 'l' word so much as made an appearance in his thoughts.  
There had been something, something real and strong and beautiful and in the end, altogether tragic.  
Something that kept Caspian stuck in the past, that made him keep Rhindon by his side come hell or high water.  
Something that brought the High King to his dreams every night, and thoughts of 'what if' to his mind during the day.  
That wasn't love, was it?  
Of course, deep down, he knew it was. He knew that the beautiful boy with blue eyes and a knowing half-smile had stolen his heart and taken it back to England with him.  
Caspian's thoughts of Peter were rudely interrupted, by the sound of someone entering the throne room. Caspian looked up to see Trumpkin entering the room. 

"Sire, you have a rather... Enthusiastic visitor."

Caspian sighed, making no effort whatsoever to hide his exasperation from the dwarf. It wasn't as though Caspian didn't love being King, however, endless days of Lords and council meetings and alliances were incredibly tiring, and honestly, he simply wasn't in the mood that night. 

"Trumpkin, please, not tonight. Unless it is a matter of urgency, please tell them I will see them in the morning. "

Caspian could have sworn he saw Trumpkin smirk, but it was gone as soon as it came. 

"I do believe you're going to want to see this one, Your Majesty."

The dwarf said nothing more, but signalled for the guards to bring in the so called 'enthusiastic visitor'.  
Caspian forced a phoney smile onto his face, prepared to face yet another Lord or Duke. What he hadn't prepared himself for, however, was the familiar face of Eustace Scrubb to walk into the throne room. His fake smile was quickly replaced with a real one, as he walked towards his dear friend and enveloped him in a hug. 

"Eustace! However did you get here?"

The younger boy pulled away from the hug, chuckling. 

"Honestly, I have no clue. One moment I was fiddling with a blasted paper bag outside a grocery shop in Cambridge and the next... Well, the next I'm right outside your castle."  
Caspian smiled,  
"However it happened, I'm just glad you're here. Come, I'll show you to one of the guest rooms."

Caspian took Eustace down the hall and up more flights of stairs than poor Eustace had been expecting, (not that he would ever admit to having been defeated by stairs) and pushed open the door to one of the many rooms on the floor.

"We do have a lot to talk about, but unfortunately it's incredibly late, so I'll come up and speak with you in the morning. But, in the meantime, if there's anything at all that you need, don't hesitate to let me know."

Eustace nodded, with a small smile. 

"Caspian, before you go, I just have to ask. Why is it that you think I'm here? I mean... From what I've been told, my cousins never came Narnia unless something was wrong."

Caspian sighed, the thought had crossed his mind. Eustace being in Narnia... It had to mean something was going on. He didn't want to dwell on the thought, though. For tonight, he would simply be happy that his friend had returned. Reality could be faced tomorrow.

"I don't know. Nothing seems to be the matter here. But... I'm just not sure. Well, goodnight."

Caspian turned away from Eustace's room, and headed down to his own chambers.  
Meanwhile, Eustace sat on his bed, thinking everything over.  
Yes, it was wonderful to be back in Narnia, except for one thing. He'd noticed it while he was on the Dawn Treader, and he was still noticing it now. Something was wrong with Caspian. He just couldn't quite figure out what it was.  
Well, whatever it was would just have to wait until the morning.  
~~~~~~~  
The next morning, Caspian took Eustace on a tour of the castle, and showed him the grounds and even some of the surrounding woods and forests. The two managed to skirt around any serious or uncomfortable topics for quite a few hours, neither one wanting to be the one to put a dampener on the mood, but, as they made their way back to the castle in the early afternoon, they knew there was no sense in avoiding the unpleasant conversation any longer.

“Something is wrong here, Caspian. You’re not an idiot, you must have realised that Aslan only ever brings someone here when it’s really necessary.”  
Caspian sighed, and went to open his mouth, when Eustace continued speaking, effectively cutting him off.

“And don’t go pretending like nothing’s going on. As much as I hate to admit it, you and I both know this isn’t a social visit.” Eustace stated, rather matter-of-factly, and Caspian shrugged.

“I know. I do wish it weren’t so complicated, but that’s just the way Aslan works, I suppose. But anyhow, I wish I could tell you why you’ve been brought here, but from what I understand, there is nothing wrong. Nobody has attempted to harm me or Narnia in any way since… Well, since your last visit. There is peace throughout the land. So, perhaps you aren’t here to fight after all?”  
Eustace ‘hmm’ed’, but remained unconvinced. He decided to drop the topic, as the conversation was clearly going nowhere.

Clearly, Caspian was following the same train of thought.  
“How are they? Your cousins, I mean.”

Eustace sighed, that was a bit of a difficult question. His cousins hadn’t been in the best shape recently, and he didn’t particularly want to be the bearer of bad news, but he also didn’t want to lie to Caspian.

“Well, I’ve only seen them once since I last was here, but it was only a short while ago, and Lucy’s doing fine, but it’s clear that she misses this place. Edmund is probably doing the best out of all of them. He seems to be adapting to England rather well again. Then, there’s Peter.”

Caspian’s breath hitched at the sound of Peter’s name. It had been such a long time since he spoke of him outside of his own mind, and he did so long to know how the other boy - possibly man, now, was doing. 

“He’s not… Coping. Not very well, anyway. I think he’s taken leaving Narnia the hardest. Feel sorry for the poor chap, he rarely ever leaves his dorm room. Barely talks to anyone, aside from Ed. I reckon Edmund knows something else, but he won’t say.” Eustace paused and shrugged, before continuing on.

“Susan, well, I don’t really know what to say there. Depending on your definition of the word fine, she is either doing absolutely fine in England, or she’s not fine at all.”  
Caspian furrowed his eyebrows in confusion as Eustace paused to try and figure out a way to properly phrase what he was about to say.

“She’s changing. She’s not really the Susan you knew, not the Susan any of us knew, I suppose. She’s much more interested in boys and makeup and invitations and dates than she is Narnia.”

Caspian should have been surprised to hear that, and yet, he just wasn’t. Susan was a beautiful girl, of course she would find herself enjoying the attentions of men.  
Of course the news that Susan was beginning to lose herself upset him, how could it not? She had been a dear friend, after all.  
But he was far more interested (and concerned) by what he was hearing of Peter. 

Of course, to Eustace, it was only leaving Narnia that was causing Peter upset, but Caspian knew better. He knew the truth, and the thought that Peter was hurting, that he couldn’t move on? It hurt Caspian to think of Peter being so pained, and he did feel a twinge of guilt for being just a little glad that the other boy was still holding their time together close, that he missed Caspian as much as he missed him.

“Caspian? Are you alright? You’ve been awful silent for quite a while.”

As the two approached the castle, Caspian shot Eustace a rather unconvincing smile.

“I’m fine, I was just thinking.”

Eustace stopped walking and narrowed his eyes at Caspian. So far, being completely unconvinced seemed to be a running theme.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Ugh, I hate this chapter, because I find it extraordinarily difficult to write Capsian, and I hate writing Eustace, I never feel as though I’m writing them well enough. Anyhow, I promise more things will start to happen in the next few chapters, I’m just trying to lay out some groundwork for possible adorable/angsty Caspeter moments ;)


End file.
